"íPANTS!" by Bleu Wales

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This all transpired from a conversation me and my friend had the other day. I don't even know how we ended up on the subject but it was funny nonetheless. Oh, and by the way, this story is a space opera because it just is.

[1] If the Order had a newspaper, this is what they'd call it.
[2] Stolen from a particular country from APH. *cough*
[3] Me and my friends use this word instead of awesome or beautiful.
Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man.
It was a nice summer evening and Lavi was merrily skipping down the halls of the Black Order like the happy, little bunny he is. Upon coming across Allen's room, however, a loud crash made him stop. Now what could that have been? Lavi, who was suddenly wearing bunny ears, bounced over to Allen's door, pressing his ear against the wood.

Sounds of struggling and arguing could be heard and Bunny!Lavi, fearing the worst, barged in. He would be a hero! He could just picture it now; his face in the Black Order Weekly [1] with the title 'THE EXCEEDINGLY HANDSOME LAVI SAVES ALLEN FROM BEING BRUTALLY MUGGED!' Yes, that would be -

Bunny!Lavi gave the two fighting occupants of the room a strange look. Allen was lying on his stomach in the middle of the floor, hands gripping tightly to one leg of your pants. Said pants were currently not on your body as they should have been and were instead in your clutches trying to be pulled away from the boy on the floor.

Both of you blinked at Lavi and Lavi blinked back. His bunny ears had disappeared because they were frightened by your half-nakedness. Though, he had to admit, the tomato-patterned undies [2] were pretty nutritious [3]. There was a pregnant pause.

Finally, after seeing that Lavi wasn't about to provide any help to the situation, you and Allen resumed your tug-of-war over the pants.

"Gimme my pants back, Allen!"


Your struggle continued as Lavi watched from the doorway. However it happened, Allen ended up tugging too hard on the pants. They were ripped from your grasp and slipped right through Allen's fingers. They flew straight out the window.

"NO!" you screamed and Allen had to hold onto your legs before you could jump out after them. "PAAAAAAAAAAAANTS!"

Komui stepped into the room at that moment, "What about trousers?"

You cried on Allen's shoulder, Lavi and Komui soon joining in on your little pity-party. Komui proposed holding a proper burial for Pants and everyone agreed, leaving the room to prepare for the service.

Meanwhile, Lenalee found Kanda lying unconcious outside the Order. A lone pair of pants lay next to him, the only witness to the crime.

The End

...OR IS IT?

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