"To Be Honest" by crimsonxtearx5

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mayumi: Well, with this story posted up on Luna, it makes it my 50TH STORY here! xD Yaay, I feel so proud of myself! =3 I won't waste time or words here, so just go onto the story, okay? :) I don't own Naruto, its characters or you, just the plot. Enjoy!
To Be Honest.

You stared intently at him through the rain that endlessly pelted the hard concrete beneath your feet, (eye color) eyes ablaze with some unrelenting and misguided passion, your naturally curly (hair color) hair matted down from the moisture of the sky. Though, despite your disheveled looks, regardless of the fact that you were practically soaked down to the bone, you stood your ground, preventing him from leaving through those gates with all of the power and determination you could muster in your already-frail body. However, him being a high-ranking ninja compared to your non-mercenary existence as a bookstand keeper, it didn’t seem like your chances of keeping him in your audience for much longer would be a fruitful effort.

Still, a girl can dream, right?

Under these circumstances, no, not anymore.

“Tell me the truth, the honest truth,” you demanded through the pitter-patter of the rain, fists clenched deeply into your cold palms and turning your knuckles white. “Do you love me? Do you honestly love me?”

You could visibly see his shoulders and usually-standing, ashen-gray tresses grow heavy under the weight of the rain and the pressure of your insistent gaze, more than likely from the fact that he had to get going, but there was no way you were going to let him go. After all, you risked everything for him, and you weren’t about to let that go to waste.

However, you could barely hear any response him through the rain.

“Of course I love you.”

His statement, even though it was what you longed to hear, was so full of impassiveness, you resisted the urge to rip your heart out and throw it on the floor in front of him.

“Then why are you leaving, Kakashi?!”

You had to be honest with yourself, being so blunt with the subject of love or even emotions in general wasn’t something ninjas were used to or admitted so easily. However, it wasn’t as if you were going to let your lover off the hook without some sort of fight, having him believe that he could leave in the middle of the night without saying a word to you.

“It’s my job. It’s for my country, my people, for you, (Name),” the Jounin explained, trying his best to give reason to the young, 22-year-old girl who obviously loved him dearly, who couldn’t stand the thought of him walking away from her for any situation, not even if it meant the lives of hundreds lost.

“But you know how I feel about you being a ninja, Kakashi. You know for a fact that I hate it when you leave me…” your volume went from a vicious shout to a mellow whisper as he approached you, getting closer to both the exit and your miserable form.

Kakashi Hatake had to admit that he hated the emotional barrier that usually kept the two of you apart. Being a ninja, he was forced to harden himself to the world around him to finish a job without the consequences of worrying about the pros and cons of the mission; so he wouldn’t give a second thought to a life he was taking, so he wouldn’t hesitate to do whatever it took to get out of a bad situation with his life. And of course, being a person with no knowledge of the hardships it is to be an assassin, you didn’t understand why he had to take another life, you didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to admit that he loved you when you knew he did, you couldn’t even fathom why he held his life with such little regard when in your world, his life meant everything to you. It is usually because of this reason that the Sharingan-wielding shinobi refrained from the dating scene, not only because it was troublesome, but because--

You halfheartedly attempted to wipe away the mix of tears and rainwater from your vision in order to see Kakashi better as he continued to approach you from the distance of thirty feet which made up the road he traveled on to leave in the first place, “I hate it when you leave me… especially when I don’t know if you’re going to come back to me or not…”

…because hearing you so sad and forlorn made his almost-stone heart break in two.

The 27-year-old male didn’t like when you would cry over him because he was unable to, and oftentimes wished that the two of you never met in the first place. And it wasn’t because he didn’t love you or anything; it was far from it, actually. It was to spare you the pain that came along with being romantically involved with a ninja of his caliber, one that was called to do dangerous missions at all hours of the night and whatnot. He didn’t act the way he did because he was falling out of his desperate need to be with you; he simply did what he did because of his intense passion for you.

“(Name),” he whispered gently, coming directly in front of you, though hesitating to bring contact between the two of you as your sullen (eye color) eyes stared into his exposed obsidian orb, practically begging him to stay with just one look. “Of course, I would have to go to fulfill my duty as a ninja of Konoha; there is no helping that. However…”

Coming to terms with himself, Kakashi slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around your quivering shoulders, bringing you into the warmth of his hold that you loved so much, soon finding himself in your own delicate embrace, trying his hardest to shield you from the rain. At this nonexistent distance from you, with your head rested so gently upon his warm chest, he could hear your sobs of misery that came with your tears that somehow managed to seep through his green vest. He could feel his heart wrenching in the slightest bit, after all, after meeting you, it wasn’t as if he enjoyed going out on missions as often as he did before. He just wanted to stay with you, all day and all night, in the apartment the two of you shared for the past year and a half, almost wishing that he wasn’t a part of the shinobi lifestyle that had made up his existence so far.

“I would never leave you behind for long, (Name)…” he soothed you, running a hand over your rain-heavy (hair color) hair, finding it harder and harder to convince you that he would return. Or was it that he was trying to convince himself at this point?

“Kakashi…” you murmured, finding yourself slowly drifting off into slumber from the exhaustion you had pushed yourself through in the rain and in the dark, in shorts and a tank top and sans a sweater nonetheless. Still, you had this feeling that it was your lover’s doing, since he had pulled this trick on you before and the gentle embrace he had on you was a nicer, more delicate version of a sleeper-hold, as to not harm the precious treasure he held in his arms. But it wasn’t as if you could fight it at this point, and that you were forced to just let it happen. You didn’t like to admit it but you would just have to trust Kakashi; and if the last thing he managed to whisper to you before you fell into unconsciousness was anything to go by, then somewhere deep in your heart, you knew that he was going to come back home to you.

“…and that is the honest truth.”


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