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"Impossibility" by Tsula
Took like an hour just to get an idea I actually liked for Kura and I don't even know for sure if I kept him in character or not. DX It's been ages since I have done anything with him and even longer since I have seen/read YYH. So if he is OOC... that'd be why. ; ;
Anyway, this is my attempt at cheering up miss Chel Swaim who posted on FB that she was feeling down and was hoping for some Kura fluffy goodness to make her feel better. I hope this helps! :3
It had to be a hallucination.
Your mind had finally snapped under the pressure of impending deadlines, a lack of sleep, and dealing with pompous idiots all day. That was the most logical explanation for what you were seeing, because there was just no way that the man of your dreams was standing on your front porch with a bouquet of flowers wearing that dashing smile that made you giddy like a schoolgirl with a crush.
He was sitting in one of the rocking chairs looking bemused by your stunned, motionless silence. You could see the mix of colorful flowers in his lap as he sat waiting for you to process the fact that he was there and what that meant.
It just didn't seem real though.
From the moment you had gotten involved with Yusuke and his little posse, Kurama had always been this untouchable, unobtainable creature. More dream than reality and certainly not someone who would be interested in you… You'd pictured him falling for someone famous or powerful, not a human with a geeky programming job.
But it wasn't like anyone else lived in your house, so there was really only one person he could be there for.
However, you still didn't want to get your hopes up. You tried to think of any other explanation for why Kurama was sitting on your porch with flowers, waiting for you to get home.
It wasn't your birthday or his for that matter and you couldn't think of a single holiday that was being celebrated on this particular day. He didn't have anything to apologize for and you hadn't told anyone about the particularly stressful time you'd been having lately… Hell, you hadn't seen hide nor hair of any of the boys for weeks--aside from Hiei who liked to crash in your attic from time to time. Not that you could blame him since you lived well out of town where it was peaceful and blissfully quiet.
You trudged forward awkwardly towards the front steps after realizing just how long you'd been standing there staring, but you weren't sure what else to do. Mentally you were freaking out over this, however outwardly you were trying to play it cool.
You had no idea what to say to him as you climbed those stairs and you wished there were more of them just to prolong having to speak at all. The idea of saying something incredibly stupid was petrifying. It felt like you might chase him away with just the smallest mistake.
Assuming that he wasn't indeed a hallucination, that is.
"You look like you've seen a ghost." His soft, silken voice washed over you like a cleansing rain. You felt chills rolling down your spine just hearing him speak.
Kurama's lovely green eyes followed you in your nervous trek towards him.
"I kind of feel like it too." You admitted slowly, feeling flustered and breathless.
You sat down in the chair beside him, letting your keys slip through your trembling fingers onto the small table between the chairs.
Kurama closed his eyes and for one horrible moment you thought you had said something wrong. He looked suddenly weary and perhaps a little sad.
You tried to think of something else to say, but it was like your voice had lodged itself somewhere deep inside your throat; you opened your mouth several times to no avail. It was utterly frustrating how nervous he made you. All of these feelings he caused made it so hard to speak your mind or be yourself, because you were worried he might reject the real you. It had never been difficult with the others, but Kurama had always made you timid.
"I'm sorry." He said finally and your heart began to race. Was he about to leave? That was the first notion that struck you: that he was about to say he had to go or that he had made a mistake. Because what else did he have to apologize for? He hadn't done anything wrong.
His eyes opened at last and when he looked at you it became impossible to breathe. It was the first time you could recall really looking into his eyes. You'd always been too shy to hold his gaze in earnest, but now you were trapped in it. He was so devastatingly beautiful that it was almost painful to look at him when he was this close.
It made your heart ache because you couldn't help but think about your own shortcomings, to compare yourself to him and his perfection.
He leaned towards you and your heart almost stopped beating. There were scant inches between your faces and you didn't want to dare hope that he was thinking along the same lines as you.
This was Kurama. He was miles out of your league and had never shown interest in relationships or women or… you. He was unreachable even if he did have a longing for such things.
But he was also there with you of all people, sitting on your porch holding flowers. He was so close that you could feel the warmth of his body and see the whites of his eyes. You took in one slow, shaky breath and you could actually taste him on your tongue.
The silence between you was as maddening as his closeness. You didn't know what was going through his mind, what he meant by his apology, or what he planned to do.
You could feel the tension rising, but you still couldn't find your voice to break the silence. Your hands were shaking in your lap and you were growing dizzy from lack of air, while Kurama remained still as stone and just was quiet.
Then finally his eyes shut once more and he sat back in his chair.
Disappointment and relief mingled together so thoroughly that you weren't entirely sure what you felt just then. At least you could breathe a little easier though.
Kurama sighed and the sound shot through you like gunfire. It only further rattled your nerves and added to your confusion. "I thought this would be easier."
His admittance took you by surprise and also worried you even more. What would be easier? You swallowed back the urge to scream from frustration. None of this was making any sense at all! He was on your porch with flowers, he'd been so close you thought he might kiss you, he was apologetic, and now he sounded as though he were irked by something. Kurama had never been this confusing before.
Aloof, distant, dangerous, brilliant, dashing, amazing, and a whole lot of other things--but never confusing.
When it became apparent that he was in no hurry to explain himself, you got up the nerve to speak.
"You're really starting to worry me." You mumbled, no longer looking at him but instead out towards the trees and the overgrown field across the way. It was much easier to speak your mind when you couldn't see him. "You show up here with flowers and get all apologetic and mysterious on me." You weren't sure at first where you were going with this, but then suddenly the words just burst right from your lips. "If this is goodbye then please just say it."
The silence following this statement was somehow even more profound than the others had been. Even the wind seemed to have stilled at your outburst.
And suddenly you were terrified of hearing his voice again--terrified that you were right and that this was the end of this brief and confusing relationship. If you could even call it that. It wasn't as if you had ever truly thought you would be lucky enough to move beyond camaraderie and maybe a loose friendship. He'd always kept you at a distance, far more than he ever did the others.
At first you'd thought it was because you were a normal human that had been included in their big secret. It would have been understandable for him not to trust you. But he was never so distant with Keiko or Shizuru.
It was just with you.
You closed your eyes as you heard him stand. No matter what you said, you didn't have the strength to watch him leave.
"I have been such a fool." He said at last and you felt a jolt at not only his words but the closeness of them.
When you opened your eyes you found him kneeling before you looking so sad that it broke your heart to pieces.
He sat the bouquet of flowers aside and took both your hands in his own, holding them to his lips. The shock of this almost made you jump out of your skin.
"I thought if I stayed away, if I kept my distance, then all these feelings for you might become easier to bear. That I might overcome them and let you live your life as you should, safe and away from someone like me." He sounded equal parts angry and depressed. "But all I have done has been in vain. I can't stay away, I can't bear the thought of not having you, and I've held you at such a distance that even the simple gesture of flowers has you thinking the worst."
He laughed a little, but not out of humor: it sounded more self-depreciating than gleeful or amused. Your heart started beating rapidly again and part of you dared to hope that he meant it the way you understood it.
Because none of what he was saying made any sense at all unless he actually felt something for you. Something that went beyond anything that you could have rightfully hoped for.
"Are you saying," you hardly recognized your own voice. It had become so small and breathless under the weight of all of this worry and foolish hope. All of this seemed exactly like something your mind would have made up, but you could feel his hands holding your own and his lips against your fingers. "is this you trying to say that you love me?"
There was so much disbelief in that one question that it sounded entirely hopeless. He looked up sharply and stood very suddenly, pulling you up with him as he went.
"That was me failing to put into words how much you mean to me," He replied tersely as he held you tightly to his chest. "This is my declaration of love."
And suddenly he was kissing you. Suddenly the impossible had become reality as his lips met yours in a kiss filled with fire and longing that seemed as though it had been building for years and years. As though the entirety of your lives had been leading towards this one, beautiful and unthinkable moment.
Kurama was kissing you. It sounded like something out of a dream, but it was real. He was real and you could feel his body pressing against you, his lips moving with your own.
He was in love with you.
That realization kicked your body into overdrive. You threw your arms around him with wild abandonment and he responded to your eager enthusiasm with a gleeful, throaty chuckle that wreaked havoc on your already overstimulated heart.
You broke for air only because you absolutely had to, but stayed so close together that every shaky breath caused friction between your bodies. He looked like the happiest man alive and that only added to your dazed and befuddled state of mind.
The happiness you felt knowing that he loved you was unrivaled and consuming. Yet, in the back of your mind that nagging thing called curiosity was trying to have its say. It wanted answers for the vague things Kurama had said and also as to why he had, admittedly, kept you at a distance.
Something in your expression must have tipped him off too as he chuckled and let his hold on you slack a little, as though he knew he needed to let you go but wasn't entirely ready to do so. "I do believe I have some explaining to do."
Your lips tilted at his perceptive statement and the fact that you were still in his arms. "Shall we go inside then?"
His response was a that beautiful smile of his and it made you feel somehow even more unsteady and dazed. He kept one hand at the small of your back as he plucked the keys off the table and you took that moment to reach for the flowers he had brought. It was only when you had picked them up that you realized just how lovely they were. Up until that moment you hadn't really looked at them.
They certainly weren't your average garden rose. A mix of red, purple, yellow, and white the roses were in full bloom with buds so large that they were each the size of your hand. The petals were like silk against your skin as you pulled them to your face and they were incredibly fragrant.
Kurama's keen eyes admired your awe. "They're called Lady Ashe roses."
You felt so overwhelmed by all of this that it was hard not to cry and you had no doubt that he could hear it in your voice. "They're beautiful."
His lips brushed your cheek as he leaned down to whisper in your ear: "They are lovely, yes, but I could hardly call them a thing of beauty when compared to you."
The feelings this statement caused exploded in your chest like fireworks. Your eyes really did tear up at this and you wanted nothing more than to say something equally lovely to him, but all you could manage was a simple and heartfelt: "I love you."
With the way his eyes lit up though and the intensity with which he kissed you, it might as well have been the most beautiful sentence in the world.
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