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"By Any Other Name" by AchievingEnterprise


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As I read the definitions for all of the words, I knew this had to be for One Piece.

Definition: (n.) A face badly in need of a fist.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Dressrosa would be over by now if I did :/
This is the fourth time this month Luffy has rocketed you across a town just to catch a sale on ham, and you swear up and down that you are going to find a way to kill him in his sleep tonight. Nervous and concerned civilians beginning to circle the crater you made upon impact into Main Street, but you simply cannot bring yourself to care. The only thing that you would bother being concerned about was if they started calling for the marines. Thankfully, the spring island your crew had come upon a few hours ago is a decently remote one. It would take at least a few hours for a ship from the nearest base to make landfall.

As more of the town’s citizens begin to gather around the commotion you’re causing, you deem it wise to assure them that you mean no harm. Or, at least, you would have, had your captain not had an impeccable sense of timing. Hands on his hips, he leans precariously over the edge of your crater and peers down at you. The two of you stare at one another for a long moment before Luffy breaks out into a wide grin and crows, “You got far this time, (Name)!”

“I’m getting more aerodynamic,” you respond, dryly. With a surprising show of willpower, you repress the urge to fling yourself up and drag Luffy down into your hole so you could bury him there. The civilians would get really worried if you did that. With a groan, you heave yourself off of your back, and onto your feet. Luffy is there to meet you when you climb over the edge of your crater.

“I threw you so we’d get to the ham faster, (Name)! Let’s go,” Luffy whines, practically molding himself to your side. Reaching up, you flick him across one rubbery cheek, but do not have time to do much more than that. Luffy has already tugged you so hard after him that you can almost feel your arm dislocating from your shoulder. With a groan, you trip your way after your captain and into the deli.

You’d kill Luffy after lunch.



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