"Dad Sneeze" by deltachye

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#space dad
“So, what’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” you asked, sipping your coffee. You friend leant in close, her eyes half-lidded with curiosity and mischief.

“Dating Shirogane, of course.”

You choked a little on the beverage and hacked out a couple of wet coughs, struggling to clear your airways. She chortled to herself as you sat, suffering, and leant back.

That good, huh?”

“Don’t ask me weird questions like that, you perv!” you hissed, fanning the blush off of your face. The old man next to you raised his eyes skeptically and turned back to his e-reader, judgment written across his face. You wanted to tell him to stick it, but knew he was right in thinking you were a moron. Your friend merely giggled quietly to herself, examining her manicure.

“I mean, we’re all happy for you,” she continued shamelessly. “Damn. He’s hot.”

“Astute observation,” you commented dryly. “You have vision. Congratulations.”

“Does he think it’s cute that you’re so touchy?” she asked. Halfway through her sassy comeback, your phone rang, and you ignored her to retrieve it from your pocket.

“Luck’s on your side; you can ask him yourself.” You turned away from her slightly and swiped right to answer. “Hello?”


You winced, pulling the phone away from your ear with a jerk. You lowered the volume on your phone to the minimum.

“Shiro, I can hear you just fine,” you hissed. “You don’t have to yell.”

“You sure?” he yelled.

“Yes,” you muttered testily, your ear throbbing, “I’m sure. What is it? Is something wrong?”

“Oh,” he shouted back through the phone, and you were pretty sure the entire coffee shop was staring at you. “I needed to ask you where you put the plunger. Because like, there’s a problem—”

“In the cupboard on the right,” you said hurriedly in a hushed whisper, feeling heat crawl up your neck with self-consciousness. “Is that all?!”

“What, you don’t want to talk to me?” he asked (or hollered) jokingly. At this point you didn’t know whether he was doing it just to piss you off or not. You inhaled deeply.

“I would love to talk to you, not have a yelling competition. You do this all the time!”

“I do not.”

“You were so loud at the store that the lady had to come and tell you to be quiet. You’re banned from the library. Two of them!”

“Well… I’m sure that lady was just sensitive. And no, the Central branch lifted their ban on me, so I’m only banned from one library.”

“Point is, Shiro, you talk too loudly over the phone. I’m going to hang up now, okay? I’ll see you later.”


“What?” you asked hesitantly, feeling the regret hovering over your shoulder.

I love you!” he bellowed as loudly as he could, deliberately, before hanging up on you. His laugh was cut off by the busy tone. You lowered your phone slowly and hid your face in your hands as conversation in the small shop resumed, the showcase of your humiliation having come to a close.

“He’s a keeper,” you friend snickered. “He yell like that in bed?”


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