“I love you…”
You could tell that the lie tasted like acid on his tongue. The words were said in an affectionate tone, but his eyes were distant, cold. You closed your eyes so he wouldn’t see the hurt in them. It was hard to face the truth, to know that you had given two years of your life to a man who didn’t care anymore.
“Do you really, Zechs?” you asked softly.
He was silent for a long time. You opened your eyes again and looked at him. He had turned away from you, his hand balled into fists at his sides.
“I want to believe you,” you continued. “But I don’t think I can take much more of this.”
“Of what?” he asked.
“The lies, the uncertainty… the pain.” You took a deep breath. “I think it’s time we faced the truth.”
He turned towards you again and you could see his internal struggle with himself. He wanted to argue with you, but he knew it was useless. He would only lie again if he did that.
“Aren’t you tired?” you asked, while approaching him. “Wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to lie anymore?”
“I don’t want to lie to you,” he said quietly.
“Then let’s stop.”
His eyes flashed darkly in the dim light of lamps, and he reached for you. “You want to break up.”
To hear him say those words… it sounded so final. So clinical. It made reality settle. But it was the best choice to make. You couldn’t go on like this.
“I think it’s for the best,” you said.
You allowed him to pull you towards him. His grip on your wrist was gentle, and he used his free hand to cup your cheek. He gazed deeply into your eyes, and you couldn’t help but stare back, losing yourself in the icy blue depts.
“I don’t want to hurt you…”
“Then let me go,” you whispered. “It will hurt, but not as bad as those empty ‘I love you’s. ”
Something flashed in his gaze. You recognized it as shame. A part of you still wanted to reach for him and draw him into your arms, to ease away the hurt. But you had done that too much in the past. And now that you had healed him, he no longer needed you.
He took a deep breath. “Alright…”
You swallowed thickly and nodded.
“I do care about you.”
“I know…” Your voice broke and you did your best to swallow the lump in your throat, to blink back the tears that burned in your eyes.
He pulled you into his arms and held you, offering you comfort, but it only seemed to intensify the pain. But you endured, because it would be the last time you would feel those arms around you. You curled your fingers around the fabric of his shirt, breathed in his scent.
His fingers tangled in your hair. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.” You looked up at him and gave him a sad smile.
He leaned in, but you placed your fingers over his lips before he could kiss you. “Don’t…”
He sighed and let you go, taking a step back. “So this is it then.”
You nodded. “It is. Goodbye Zechs.”
You turned around and walked out. It wasn’t until you were seated inside your car that you allowed the tears to come. The pain was intense, almost unbearable. Because you did love him, with every fiber of your being and to let him go was excruciating. But his lies were toxic and you could no longer live with them. You weren’t enough, had never been.
But why did it have to hurt so much?
So, what do you think?