"90 Proof Sweets" by VampirePumpkins

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I dedicate this fic to ChuckIsMyHero for giving me the idea, Tsula because she just posted a lot of fics in a row and I haven't written anything in FOREVER, and SilentReaper from deviantART, for her comic about L having sugar induced hallucinations that also helped inspire this fic.


/edit/G*D DAMN DISSAPERING SPACES! >.< Damn them to HELL!
“God, I’m beat.” You groaned as you stretched your arms.

You had just spent hours and hours gathering information for L and you were TIRED. All you wanted to do was go home and eat the rum-filled chocolates you had bought on the way to work that morning.

Now…where were those chocolates….?

Ok, seriously now. Where were those freakin’ chocolates?!

“Matsuda! Did you see where that box of candies that were on my desk went?”

Matsuda was walking out the door. “I think I saw L take them into the video room.”

Your eyebrow twitched. Is nothing sacred?

You snorted and stomped into the TV screen lined room.

“L! Where the hell are my chocolates?!” Your eyes scanned the seemingly empty room. “…L?”


“What the-ACK!” You were tackled to the ground from the side by the thin young man, who was giggling insanely.

“Tee-hee. Caught you~!” L sang next to your ear after successfully positioning himself on top of you, a hand on either side of your head. You flushed crimson.

“Wh-what do you think you’re doing!” You tried to push L off, but to no avail. Then your eyes caught the empty box on the ground, about a foot away from your head. Your eyes widened comically.

“You ate them ALL?

L just giggled some more, which was rather cute but also disturbing. You sighed and tried to get up again only to have L nip at your ear, making you gasp sharply.

“Guess what?” L whispered hotly, his silly giggle gone and replaced with a sexy huskiness. “There’s a 98% chance that I’m a horny drunk.”


I’m going to have to remember that... You thought briefly before L’s hot mouth covered yours.
-------------- Yeah, I'm a horrible tease. Sorry, no lemon for you. I think this might be the most risque fics I've posted to date. Sorry if I offened your delicate sensabilities. Been wanting to write this one FOREVER. And I know L is OOC, but come on! Have we ever SEEN him drunk? For all we know, this is what happens.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Tell me your thoughts!

Till next time, VampirePumpkins.

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