LunaescenceLunaescence
 
Member Profile: TheRawrFactor
Name: TheRawrFactor
Alias: 神 (Kami) / Factor (ファクタ-)
Status: Author
 
 
Join Date: 05/08/10
Last Logged In: 09/21/14
Skin: Shuriken
 
 
Contact:
Links: blog
Hello, new friend! Or possibly old friend. I wouldn't know, it's not like I'm stalking you through your computer or anything.

Just call me Kami.

Okay, I don't know what you want to know, but I write stories sometimes. As of right now, not much, but please do enjoy the kind of miniscule selection I have at the moment while I try and scrounge up my lost thoughts.

::You a basic bitch, so learn your basic shit:: i mean youre not really a basic bitch, but you should know this about me.
Age: 18
Birthday: 21 February
Location: Northeast United States

I have twice tumblrs
for funnies
for arts


Recently Finished
updated: 31 aug 2014
+ Sunglasses (reader x oc, elliot)

Currently Working On
updated: 31 aug 2014
+ God Damn Those Idols, They Drive Me to Insanity (utapri; reader x various) - new chapters submitted every thursday
+ Babe, Water You Doing? (free!; reader x various) - new chapters submitted every sunday

Currently Watching
(note: some of it is old and i just got around to watching it)
+ Free! Eternal Summer
+ Zankyou no Terror/Terror in Resonance
+ Tokyo Ghoul
+ Samurai Champloo


Lifeless Eyes & Starless Skies is accessible here.


After this point, you'll just get updates from me.


:: 12 Sept 2014 ::

As I sit here with my McDonaldís and a grand case of boredom, I think to myself, Why donít I do a little rant? And so I shall. Also, half of this is a lie. I ate all of my food.

Anyway, I just wanted to talk about Free! and fan fiction for a second, because this has been bothering me since the beginning. Itís mostly about the way that Haru is handled and how the reader is portrayed (in many different pairings and works). And a little something about Kisumi.

First of all, how Haru is written for. Letís talk about tropes for a second, or, rather, character archetypes. Haru is the cool type, obviously (bet you couldnít figure that out ever right), and, somehow, that type is incredibly difficult to write for? Iíll never understand, especially the cool types that hardly speak (which just so happens to be most of them), like Haru. I mean, heís been different lately, I guess, for the show, but he only speaks when spoken to. But I really donít get how itís that hard to write for this type? I mean, I used to, but now itís kind of inconceivable. Itís not just Haru, itís a lot of different ones. The only ones Iíve seen with well-written fics is probably Ootori Kyoya and Hibari Kyoya, and everything else is kind of just hit or miss. Moving on to Haru, though, heís apparently on a completely different league? I mean, Iíve read very good stuff about him here, but there are the few that stray. And elsewhere, other sites, people donít even understand who he is. Like, heíll do these insane actions or heíll speak in paragraphs, he might be a bit overly emotionalÖ You know, all of that. Thank goodness it isnít bad here, you know?

Iím not really sure how to approach this, honestly, but, how to write better for Haru, I guess? First, you have to take a look into who he is. Okay, he has the cool character archetype, but thereís more to him. Iím going to forget all of the angsty stuff because itís a bit too much for this. Iím just going over the basics of who he is and what he likes. Alright, heís a hydro-holic with a penchant for swimming freestyle and relays. Right now, we know he swims for himself and his friends. He knows how to cook, especially anything involving mackerel. He has a problem choosing which swimsuit to wear in the morning Ė heís never not wearing a swimsuit, as if they are a part of him. He only speaks when spoken to, so, in a relationship, it is the other partyís responsibility to initiate conversation or, you know, everything more ďout thereĒ for Haru (probably includes kissing at first, but, once you get to him more, he might initiate more stuff Ė heís pretty much an adult now). He can get along with kids. He can do every art imaginable, pretty much (I have no doubt that he would excel in literature if he cared about the subject matter). Heís also a very, very, very abstractionist in his thinking and his speech. Speaking of, heís abstractionist. but heís also very blunt. So, you know. Do with that what you will.

So now that thatís all out of the way, how can we improve on writing for him, not being writers or creators of the show or his character? Well, donít turn him into your idealized version of him, for one. I see a lot of people change who he is at his core, which is a quiet, water-loving, artsy kid. They donít take out the water-loving thing Ė hell, itís his most recognized trait Ė but they definitely rip the quiet out of him. I understand if itís dialogue-heavy (one of my favourite fics is daring enough to be doing that Ė it started that way, being entirely dialogue, but Haru is executed well, manner of speech, choice of words, but the chapters are short and cute, so itís perfect, pretty much), but donít lose his personality. If itís any other situation, Haru really shouldnít be talking too much. And he shouldnít emote too much, either. Since itís been upped to at least one smile every episode this season (you can check, though the ďTachibana-coachiĒ episode might have you stumped, I donít think thereís even one in there, but close enough), he can do that more often, but it should probably be more towards his friends and such. And it takes a lot to be this kidís friend, I have to say, so keep that in mind. He also talks a lot more with his actions, moreso than I think he intends to.

I think thatís all I can really say. Iím sorry for going on about him for three paragraphs, but I really do care about how heís written because he is a little difficult to understand, I guess. I also care deeply about him, so donít even try to knock him, omg. Also, I kind of have the same quirks, a little bit? I know I definitely talk smack and laugh a whole shitton more, and I canít not make faces, but I understand what it takes to open him up. Iím sure most of us were/are closed up like him at some point/a lot.

Now, onto how the reader character is handled, if this isnít a Haru x OC deal. Alright, this is going to be hard. Uhm, letís see. Bluntly, I just donít like that when reader is introduced, her entire life revolves around the swim club? And if it didnít at the start, it evolves into that, and that gets annoying. Like, you have to remember that even they have their individual lives outside of each other. Like, Iím sure Makoto does, and he definitely will by Eternal Summerís end, considering his future plans. And Iíve noticed that a lot of flashbacks about meeting these kids tends to revolve around ISC, which isnít always bad, but it gets stale, you know? Like, they went to the parks as kids, they had school, and they probably had other club activities when they were kids, if thatís where youíre going to start readerís arc. And, when meeting Haru in the ISC setting, itís always about how ďcaptivatingĒ his swimming is. Like, we already know, the anime and light novels have touched upon this fact at least fifty times before you did. I kind of have a big fat problem with unoriginality, and Iím trying to steer myself away from clichťs and itís been going very well. This is why I was particularly happy with Sunglasses, but I digress.

Anyway, it almost always happens that when reader meets and gets caught up in with the swim club, her life becomes a part of theirs. I think it should be taken into account that every single character has their own lives. Yes, they hang out a great bit together, but they definitely have their own thing going on. So I think itís important to explore that. Iíll be touching up on this in Babe, Water You Doing? myself, but I digress once again.

And about Kisumi. Okay, letís talk him for a second. Heís the biggest damn flirt, he has the ďflirtĒ archetype. I wouldnít go so far as to say ďpervertĒ, though thatís close? More like ďlover-boyĒ. Point is, he likes making other people flustered, you can just tell by his face. My problem revolves around the way reader is handled with him. Itís also extremely clichť; itís reader getting flustered by everything and anything Kisumi does or says. Thatís not bad in itself, as there is a way to handle it without it coming off as stale Ė there is always that angle for a clichť, to not make it clichť Ė you just have to find out that angle on your own. So, like, donít do this flustered bit anymore, please. Itís boring. Iím gouging my eyes out over it as we speak, so at least I can feel something.

I guess thatís all I have to say. This took a lot out of me. How am I supposed to continue writing Free! drabbles??

So, sorry for going off like that, but this is almost my personal blog, so I can do what I want.

See yíall.
 
Beta Reader Profile
Will check for:
  • Spelling
  • Punctuation
  • Grammar
  • Characterization
  • Overall Impression
Status: Open
About my services: (Updated 19 May, 2012 :P)

SO YOU LIKE WRITING. Well, I do, too. And I like helping make people better. I'll make sure it's awesome, I swear.
Although, I don't know if people like Beta readers...

ANYWAY. I'll take anything you throw at me and I'll help you into writing glory, by checking EVERYTHING.
Because I love you.

As you can tell, I'm not exactly a serious person, but, if you want me to, I'll change my attitude a little bit. I'm not a very mean person (okay, that's a bit of a lie), but I'll be nice to YOU.

Oh, and everything is acceptable. I'm not shy about anything. You got fluff? Lemons? Gore? Rape? Something written from a sugar high? I'LL TAKE IT. :D
Will not read: Nothing. Everything is cool, mang.
Page Footer
This website is solely for non-profit entertainment purposes only. No profits are being made from this website whatsoever. All fan fiction represented in this archive are © their respective owners and/or authors. All original works are © their respective authors. No reproduction of the written works in this archive is permitted without prior consent of their respective authors. All Rights Reserved. Icons used on this site are from famfamfam.com. Protected by Spam Poison Bleach, Ichigo are © Studio Pierrot, TV Tokyo, Dentsu, and Tite Kubo.