Lunaescence Archives :: Moderated Creative Writing Community

Capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse," and; "I helped my uncle jack off a horse."

This is me. Would you like my autograph? Someday it will be worth at least $10 on eBay. SOMEDAY.

AND HE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

Once upon a time I played Columbia in a stage production of The Rocky Horror Show.

I'm Nichole.

People often ask me what I want to do with my life. I never know what to say to them. Because I don't know how to answer such a question they pass me off as directionless or without purpose. They don't believe that I want to be a productive member of society or that I want to create something beautiful that leaves behind a legacy. That is another thing of which I'm unsure how to respond. However, despite what people may think of my direction, or as they perceive my lack thereof, I do know that in my life I want to make people smile. Whether it's because they are happy or because they think I'm funny or because I'm threatening their family if they don't, I see a smile as one of the most beautiful things a person can have. Therefore rather than something that has material and may or may not fade over time I want to create smiles because they are beautiful in and of themselves.
Despite my aspirations to make people smile/laugh/happy/whatever, there are some who find my humor less than appealing. Some would even call it... vulgar. In reality it is much more than that. It is also crude, offensive, sarcastic, satirical, dry, obnoxious, morbid, and sometimes just stupid.
Much, MUCH more than simple vulgarity. I must say I'd go so far as to call it complex vulgarity. Luckily I have only heard such things from the most pretentious of people. Speaking of ostentation you must enunciate every word you read in this bio and you must read it aloud as if you are from a century prior to this one, i.e. the 1800s. And if you were not reading it as such before this paragraph, you must reread the entire thing so that it fits the criteria I've provided.
That is not to say that I'm by any means a people-pleaser. I have no desire to make everyone happy; I know how to say "no." In fact as time goes by it gets progressively easier.
I suppose with all that said, this is the part where I eat a banana suggestively and tell you of all the superficial things related to my persons. Though I'm not sure of how I can tell you with a banana in my mouth.
BRRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRER FLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROL RERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRBRLBRBHROLRERFLBRB.
—And then I had to hide the body.
Also I'm 5'8 and my name is Nichole.
And I put the sex in dyslexia.
What's your name? That's cool.