Join Date: 01/10/10
Last Logged In: 02/05/10
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that, paste it in your profile:D
eliforp ruoy otno siht etsap dna ypoc siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fi
You know you've lived in 2009 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname, my space, or facebook.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
These are some of my favorite sayings and quotes:
Smile. Tomorrow will be worse.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
Do it today. It might be illegal tomorrow.
Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.
Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.
If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.
Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!
That which does not kill me had better run pretty dang fast.
Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."
When in doubt, push random buttons!
Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.
When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.
You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
I'm not cynical, everything just sucks.
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.
It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.
I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
Fail with honor rather than succeed by fraud.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
You never know how strong you are...until being strong is the only choice you have.
Love is like the wind. You can't see it, but you can feel it.
Genius by birth. Slacker by choice.
Me believes in ME!
Give me chocolate and nobody gets hurt!
Pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil.
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
You're jealous cuz the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
In the end it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.
Live for the moments you can't put into words.
No trespassing, violators will be shot and survivors will be shot again.
It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
You just have to live your life not caring what they think and shake off the drama and prove to them that you're better than they think you are.
If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceeds to tell you exactly why it isn't.
He who laughs last thinks the slowest.
To be old and wise you must first have to be young and stupid.
Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise.
You are only limited by your own fears and inaction.
There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening.
Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
People are boring, they are only amusing if you push them down a flight of stairs.
I AM NOT CRAZY! My reality is just different than yours.
My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.
Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.
I used to have a life but, that was before video games!
Don't look for inspiration. Start working and inspiration will come to you.
I'm the author of my life, and unfortunately I'm writing in pen!
Move on. It's just a chapter in the past. But don't close the book. Just turn the page.
Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it The Present.
When you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine.
Many say I am just one to try. I say I am one less to quit.
Believe in yourself and others will follow.
When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You cry, I cry; you laugh, I laugh; you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
When life gives you lemons, eat them.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
When all else fails blow it up.
Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Engineering: “How will this work?” Science: “Why will this work?” Management: “When will this work?” Liberal Arts: “Do you want fries with that?”
Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.
The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.
When life gives you lemons, think of another 'when life gives you lemons' quote.
Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.
It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.
I shoot every third salesmen that comes to my house, the second just left.
I shoot every third flamer that comes to my profile, the second just left.
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.
I'm perfectly sane, it's the world that's crazy.
My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and its gone.
I used to have super powers, but my therapist took them away.
Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kick boxing.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look to astonished.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on bad parenting.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
We live in an age where the pizza delivery will reach your house before the police.
I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Sarcasm is one more service I offer. Compassion costs extra.
Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
I will temporarily rule the world, forever.
Silence is golden, duck-tape is silver-
Who ever said that anything was possible has obviously never tried to ski through a revolving door...
He shouldn't let his mind wander, it's too little to go out on its own.
He had a good idea once, but it died of loneliness.
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Are you always in mortal danger, or just when I'm passing through?
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
Vegetarian: Indian word for 'lousy hunter'.
Some people are like slinkies. The seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.
If a species is to triumph and prevail, the female of the species must be more deadly than the male.
Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.
Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.
You can't fall off the floor, but you can always pick yourself back up.
Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
If you mess with anything long enough, it'll break.
Push something hard enough and it will fall.
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
There's no point in being grownup if you can't be childish sometimes!
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you wouldn't have been notified.
Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.
Do what comes naturally now. Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
Sleep: A completely inadequate substitute for caffeine.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity (It's true I tell you!)
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Never argue with an idiot, they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...
Who says beggars can’t be choosers, I could have just robbed you.
Whoever came up with ‘Sticks and stones...’ obviously didn’t take into account the viciousness of today’s youth.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
Don't fall for someone unless they are willing to catch you.
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will come after you.
Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, and the things you never want to lose.
It's a beautiful day. Now watch some idiot screw it up.
Revenge is a dish best served by eating your enemies and their delicious memories.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20 don't care and the other 80 are glad you have them.
Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won't make you cry.
Sometimes all you can do is laugh to keep yourself from crying.
Confidence: The feeling you have before you understand the situation.
If the world didn't suck, we would all fall off...
If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.
You know people, the more meaningless something is, the more meanings they interpret.
Defeat the defeat before the defeat defeats you.
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.
If a turtle loses his shell is he naked? Or homeless?
When the world says, "Give up", Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
The only thing to live for is today.
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, its what you are expected to give; which is everything.
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
There are four things you cannot recover in life: The stone after it is thrown, the word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, and time after it is gone.
Today I will be happier than a bird with a french fry.
Be strong now because things will get better; it might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever.
There is no road for happiness...Happiness is the road.
Don't be afraid to move forward.
Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.
Who ever said the pen is mightier then the sword, has never seen an automatic weapon.
I've built a wall not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over.
Living your life is more important than making a living.
Stress - The confusion created when the mind overrides the bodies desire to the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.
I don't need to "get a life." I'm a gamer, I have lots of lives.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
Be optimistic... all the people you hate are eventually going to die!!
It's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?
I used up all of my sick days...so I'm calling in dead.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED: Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Firefighter says: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well... basically... your house burned even faster.
You should be kissed and often and by someone who knows how.
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says, "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Your life is yours alone. Rise up and live it.
They wanted war; I intend to jam their wish down their throats and see them choke to death on it.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
Welcome to my world. Now go home.
It's not my fault. Remember, I live in a world of bad examples.
Quiet your mind. No problem can be solved by a drunken monkey.
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
Duck tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side and it holds the world together.
Don't upset me. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
If I could control my anger I would destroy you with it.
You can't spell Slaughter without Laughter.
One by one the penguins steal my sanity.
Those who think happiness is a ray of sunlight shining through the clouds have clearly never danced in the rain.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're ugly.
Imagine what I could do if I had all my brain cells.
Heart attacks. God's revenge for eating all his little animal friends.
Never get in an argument with a schizophrenic and say, “Who do you think you are?!”
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.
From now on, ending a sentence in a preposition is something up with which I will not put.
The only imaginative fiction being written today is income taxes.
Cheese: milk's leap towards immortality.
Drunk drivers are dangerous, but so are drunk backseat drivers if they're persuasive.
I always knew my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil.
Girls can do any a boy can do, and in high heels.
Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably... And never regret anything that made you smile.
The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
Love will find a way.
Smile every minute of the day. You never know who is falling in love with it.
(From home page of http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1730557/Serenity_Reigns not mine !!!!)